" I've been kicked out, Been told im a total disgrace, I've been shoved, I've been pushed, Ive been slapped in the face." - Been There Done That - Hedley
I let you walk all over me. It was so clear to everybody else, to me it was a blur. I denied it. I said you "don't mean it". But in reality, you meant every little bit of it. You laughed when i cried. Why was it so clear to everybody else but me? Why did you do it to me? Why me? I would cry myself to sleep and would wake up in the morning with tears in my eyes. You put me in physical, mental and emotional pain. I will never be able to look at myself the same way ever again.
Im ugly. Im fat. Im stupid. I hate my hair. I hate my clothes. I hate my body. I hate my face. Every body does. No body likes me. Everybody thinks im ugly. No amount of make-up can help me.
"" Tell me what I'll never be, Make me feel broken" .... "The perfection of my frailty, Has been questioned and broken" - Gunnin' - Hedley
This is what you made me think of myself. This is what i STILL think of myself. For all i know, I was never happy. I never went to sleep with a smile on my face. You wrecked me. Damaged me. Beaten me down to the core. I will never be me again. You pushed me to the point where I was unable to look in the mirror. I couldnt bring myself to ever make eye contact with myself. I felt sick just looking at myself, and felt no one else should have to go through that pain.
I don't think you will ever know what you did to me. How i felt. What I've been through. And you continue to smile and laugh. You will never know how much you hurt me. But yet, I will never be able to stand up for myself.
So I continue the day with a fake smile on my face.
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